Seeing Stars

Drum roll please...

I made goal!  On the nose exactly 155 lbs!!  So proud to finally have a healthy BMI, so proud to be a healthier person!

Today is day one of the next 6 weeks of maintenance. "Maintenance" in WW land means they adjust your daily points (you get to eat even more) and then at the end of six weeks as long as you are within 2 lbs of goal, you become a lifetime member.  Lifetime member means you can go to WW meetings for the rest of your life for free (provided you go to a monthly weigh in).

I stepped on the scale knowing I was down but feeling like it wasn't that much.  Several people at the meeting change into weigh in clothes for weigh ins, since I knew it would be close I brought my gym clothes to lighten my load and I was down 0.8 lbs, exactly 155!  Unfortunately, today was a very busy day so I couldn't stay for the whole meeting, in particular the end where everyone congratulates you.  My leader wouldn't let me leave without my star charm so I got the abridged treatment.  Today's meeting was about vacationing on plan which was kind of funny since I realized my last two weeks of maintenance I will be on vacation.  Ugh!  I know I can do it.  My ultimate goal is to still lose another 5 lbs so there is no question I need to stay on task.  Luckily if you are below goal by more than 2 lbs they can just adjust your original goal without you having to repeat the six weeks of maintenance.  Six more weeks and I'll have an extra $40 in my pocket a month.

More motivation has come my way since we finalized our vacation plans.  So excited for two weeks at the beach and I want to wear a two piece bathing suit (I think).  Unfortunately with all the running around (kids' classes, then drive to the shore to finalize the plans, quick stop at Walmart and then a stop at my mom's for a visit) I was not able to get to the gym so I had to use a rest day even though today was not very restful.  Next week my schedule should be a little more regular so I can plan my gym time better.  Feeling so excited for the triathlon and hopeful that its just another goal oriented activity that I will enjoy and will make me so proud of myself.  I mean if I can really swim that far in the ocean?  Wow!  Off to research my school...

Appreciating Color

 I seemed to have missed the super blue blooms.  The colors get more vibrant as they bloom.  Blue, Purple, Pink they are just amazing to watch.

Tri Training Begins

Two days into the training schedule and I really like it.  I'm not following the days of the week b/c I gotta do what works best for my schedule.  I feel like the workouts are a little less intense than my normal workouts but I have to do more days in the gym following this schedule.  Monday I did my first "brick" which is biking followed by running, it was fine (good, even).  I biked 8 miles (30 minutes) and then ran 2 miles (18 minutes).  Today I swam 22 laps (lap will now mean 50 meters in my vocabulary).  That's sort of been my usual and I was told not to decrease just to match the schedule.  I did mostly freestyle but mixed in a few other strokes plus some of the drill type stuff like swimming with a kick board or closed fisted.  My initial confidence is wearing a little thin though.  Just sent my cousin a note wondering if I need to get flippers for this (she just replied no, you'd only use them for training).  Its a little daunting doing something like this where I just have no idea what to expect.  I was swimming today and thinking about how I would deal with salt water in my goggles or worse yet, my mouth.

There was another nudie in the locker room today.  Let me be clear I am not against being nude in a locker room to change but come on let's have a little dignity or subtlety about it.  The lady today was standing in a shower and just did not close the curtain.  I mean the curtain is right there!  I saw her from behind (pun intended) and should I need to refer to her again she will be known as Bump Butt.  She like the old-naked-lady-who's-kitchen-is-on-fire pranced around the locker room with all the time in the world.  She actually had a towel on her head and nothing else.  I think she even went to the sauna room and I pray she took her towel off her head and sat on it.  I was just thankful that I had my sauna time alone!

I feel like I need to update a few of my open ended questions/tests/tasks......

We're still mulling over Atlanta move and its still seeming like a good one provided jobs and savings work out.  I'm torn about applying for school but still thinking I should just do it.  Tomorrow is my WW meeting and I have no idea what will happen.  I didn't track this week and didn't eat so great but it was an active week, despite my missing a day at the gym.  I'll find out tomorrow.  The smaller underwear that was supposed to remind me to lose weight didn't really work.  I've been wearing them but they're cotton so they just stretch with me.  I guess you really have to do something like that with actual pants.  I took a few days off from the wheat grass for no particular reason.  I had it this morning (and enjoyed it) so I'm going to try and get back in the habit.  As for being social, our old city friends ended up inviting us in for something else that was more doable and so we got in and saw everyone.  It was great.  I did invite local people over but they had plans.  Coincidentally our neighbors had a party Saturday and invited us over so I'm feeling plenty social.

Triathlon Training Schedule

WEEK    MON         TUE                    WED             TH                      FRI       SAT      SUN

6/27        Run 3    Swim 8-12 laps     Bike 5-8      Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 4                                                          

                                                           & Run 2

7/4          Run 3    Swim 8-12 laps     Bike 5-8      Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 4

                                                           & Run 2

7/11        Run 3    Swim 8-16            Bike 5-10     Swim 8-16 laps       REST   REST     Run 5

                             laps plus drills        & Run 2                            

7/18        Run 3    Swim 8-16            Bike 5-10     Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 5

                             laps plus drills        & Run 3                            

7/25       Run 3     Swim 8-16            Bike 5-10     Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 6

                             laps plus drills        & Run 3                            

8/1         Run 3     Swim 8-16            Bike 5-12     Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 6

                             laps plus drills        & Run 2                            

8/8         Run 3     Swim 8-16            Bike 5-12     Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 4

                             laps plus drills        & Run 2                            

8/15       Run 3     Swim 8-12           Bike 5-8        Swim 8-12 laps       REST   REST     Run 3

                                                         & Run 2                            

8/22       Run 3     Swim 6-8               REST           REST                     Run 2    REST     RACE

( EVERYTHING EASY)                                                                        

30lbs I will not miss

Lost another 2.4 lbs this week!!  I am down 30.6 lbs as week 37 of Weight Watchers begins.  Thrilled!

Started looking into a triathlon.  Its been a little difficult since I am so behind on laundry and paperwork.  There's just plenty of this house work stuff to keep me from researching the long list of things I want to look into a little more closely.  Today I am planning on getting some of this house stuff done since tomorrow I'm taking the kids on a little outing.  My cousin sent me a training schedule for a triathlon and I'm pretty confident that I can do each piece (400m swim, 12 mile bike, and 5k run) so training just means being able to do all three consecutively.  Somehow this makes it feel a little more doable.

Wheat grass Days 3 & 4

Sunday, I skipped the wheat grass.  Woke up and wanted my coffee and breakfast right away and never got around to the wheat grass.  Today I was dutifully back on task and was actually kind of enjoying my green drink.  Then I got distracted and never finished it.  I drank a glassful but not the "power shot" at the bitter end.  The strangest thing happened at dinner time, I actually wanted another.  I think in my mind this is like green tea to me.  I drank another glassful at dinner.  I really haven't noticed any changes though, except that now I am awake and I can't sleep which is very unlike me.

Very curious about this week and if I will actually hit goal.  Its been a strange week and for all I know I could be up.  I started out tracking this week and then I just fell off with it.  Its so hard to keep up with sometimes.  The annoying thing is that I can think I'm eating well but I'm actually choosing thing high in points without realizing it. Since I still haven't gotten batteries for the scale and I'm not tracking there's no way to know until Wednesday's meeting.

Still thinking about school.  Do I apply even though we could be moving?  Pretty sure the answer is yes.  I have the application all printed just need to fill it in.

This week feels like its going fast.  I have two opportunities to go into the city for meet-ups -- one with my husband and his friend, another with some mommy friends from when we were living in the city.  I think I am going to have to pass on both.  Part of me just doesn't feel like doing all the babysitting arrangements and trying to function tired the next day and then there's another part of me that thinks I'm antisocial and should just go.  Hmmm.  I think we may have a little BBQ this weekend and invite some other people from around here that we know (I don't want to be antisocial but I need people more convenient to visit with).  My grandma jokingly says, "Friends.  Who needs them?"  And then we laugh together (perhaps this is an inside joke and the humor is not being conveyed but I'll let it stand).  Anyway, I saw an old friend today and it reminds me that I should make some, I like having them.

Wheat Grass Day #2

Wheat grass drink this morning went down a little better.  I left the spoon in the cup to continuously stir and added a little less water.  I did have my coffee this morning too though.  I just reread this and you are probably thinking this is a recipe for disaster, I mean completely "cleansing." I assure you that did not happen.

Lots of yard work today was happening and I'm hoping its burning off the calories.  I haven't done all my tracking but I'm thinking I wasn't as good as last week.  Goal, you are within reach, I just have to be strong!  I missed only one day of vitamins and made it to the gym plus two active days of yard work and taking the kids to the zoo.  I should be in good shape but I've definitely had all my WW points lately including the nursing points.

I'm starting to feel like I'm thinking too much about day-to-day stuff and I need to get my head in the game and think about a more long term goal to work towards.  What will it be?  Should I apply to school?  Even though we're thinking about moving?

Wheat Grass Experiment Day #1

My husband read somewhere that wheatgrass is the best thing to eat if you think you are not eating enough vegetables.  He asked me to get some.  It was not in the regular grocery store that I could find but I just picked some up in Whole Foods.  I spoke with the vitamin section guy about it.  He told me its best taken first thing in the morning on an empty stomach with water (although you can use juice).  In addition to the nutritional boost, it cleanses your body and often people say it gives them energy.  Wow!  Sign me up.  Today was day one.

While the label says to have a serving three times a day, the Whole Foods guy suggested that was really only for people using it as a cleanse which I am not.  This morning I put my scoop of the green powder into a cup of ice cold water, one for me and one for my husband.  My husband said it tasted sort of like green tea.  I thought it tasted more like spinach.  The taste was not too strong either way but it did seem like a bit of a chore to drink.  The bottom of the cup was the most potent with so much of the mix sinking to the bottom of the cup, I drank almost the whole thing.  I did skip my coffee this morning which I sometimes do but usually at this point in the day I'm looking for it.  Could it be that I already have more energy?

First Bloom

The mystery is over, blue/purple is our color!

Did you know the Ph in the soil determines the color of the blooms (pink or blue) on a hydrangea?

I Just Really Like Big Lips

Down 4lbs this week!!!  And the crowd goes wild!!

Slightly short of my 5 lb goal but that was a little lofty anyway.  I am down to 158.2 (28 lbs, I think) as week 36 begins.  This week's goal is to make it to my WW goal of 155.  Spoke with a WW friend at the meeting and she is about 3 lbs away from hitting her goal as well so the two of us are going to try for next week.  Feeling quite positive.  This week's meeting was about portion sizes and it didn't particularly speak to me.  The second half of the meeting we commend those who have had a good week and that was motivating.  Another WW friend lost 112 lbs and made goal.  Wow!

I love the day my mother-in-law comes over to babysit.  She comes once a week and its so fun to just get all my errands done without carting the kids around.  I went to the meeting alone so I could focus.  Grocery shopped immediately after meeting which means I got good stuff, no junk food and I don't think I forgot anything so no secondary trips.  I came home had lunch and nursed the baby, then headed out to get waxed, hit the gym and stop at the dry cleaners.  It would've been nice to get to Whole Foods but I can't fit everything in.

I do so hate getting waxed.  It hurts.  There's no getting around it.  It does hurt less the more often you go.  I just started going in May and it hurts less.  At least my waxer is an interesting character.  Today she tells me she got breast implants last week.  She's 28, quite thin and I would say very pretty.  Apparently she lost 10 lbs after breaking up with her boyfriend and consequently lost her bust line.  Huh?  Really?  Ten lbs made that much of an impact?  I mean its gotta be expensive, it bothers you that much?  Gaining 10 lbs is completely out of the question, even in your future?  She obviously thinks so.  Then she tells me she previously had her lips done!  They inject something in your lips, she said it so matter of fact as if I should know what chemical they inject in the lips (it was something I never heard of and can't remember, not Botox).  "Its just 'bobbity bop' injected into your lips," she says.  Is 'bobbity bop' toxic?  Could you actually eat it?  That might seem like a crazy thought but its in your lips!  Wild.  I don't get it.  Its not like she's a Bravo Housewife.  In response to my persistent questions of "Why?" in just about every form, to sum it all up she responds, "I just really like big lips."  Apparently, she likes her chest big too!

Take No Prisons Week - Day 6 & 7 Melting Down

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

I've been really good all week.  I actually tracked all my food although I still have to tally the WW points but as of Saturday I was doing good.  Then yesterday I agreed to make cookies with the kids.  Bad idea.  Today, started out well and then I didn't plan lunch.  We decided to stop for it on our way to the zoo and I didn't realize my wrap came with fries.  Then I ate them.  Its been raining so we cancelled the zoo trip and I'm in the mood to devour my whole kitchen at this point.  FOCUS.

The Suburbia Conundrum

I hate to sound condescending but there's something about the suburbs that makes me cringe.  Don't get me wrong I love the burbs and proudly grew up in them.  I love having the small town pride but being accessible to a city.  I feel like even though there's less diversity than in a city, the diversity that is here is very close to you (and not in an annoying crowded way), well understood and appreciated.  However, I still think I grew up with a bit more diversity than my own kids have (or maybe I am just romanticizing my own hometown).

This weekend we had a race in town and I participated.  I was happy with my time, 4 miles in 34 minutes!  I have not been running since my toe has been hurting, just using the cardio machines so I had no idea how I'd do.  As I rolled up to the finish line and saw the clock, I have to admit I was happy.  Then I saw another mom that I frequently see at the YMCA and was disappointed that she had beaten me, albeit by only a few seconds.  First impressions are a special thing and I have never even spoken to this mom but I sort of dislike her (this might change upon actually speaking to this woman).  Months ago she was on a cardio machine talking to her friend, loud enough that I could hear her from further away.  She was telling her friend about going somewhere, a college or dancing, somewhere where younger people without children are, and went on and on about how young she looked (I should really be exercising with headphones).  I suppose its fine to say these things to a friend but so loudly where others can hear you?!  Please!

She is about my age (I only know this because the race results list our age) and therefore does not fit the mold in this town of having kids about 5-10 years later than we actually did.  It does give you a little bit of a complex, being an outlier.  The moms are older and look great but a lot have that "mom" look.  Makes me wonder do I have that "mom" look?  Perhaps everyone worries about looking older in their 30s, I just hope to look my age and no older.  My husband even commented that the "dad" uniform is kaki pants with a tucked in golf shirt.  If me and my husband can sense the very obvious norm as adults living here, what is the high school in town like? YIKES!  There's something about the suburbs that makes everyone do the same things and I don't know that I want my family to be in a place where being even slightly different is always so obvious (or maybe I'm over thinking all of it -- its not like anyone is shunned here for being different).

The bathroom remodel is complete and looks great but it only took three days for us to start talking about moving again.  I hate to traumatize my kids by moving them around but I've only lived in this metropolitan area, what if some other place is better for them and us as a family?  How difficult would it be to sell our house?  Would we lose a lot of money?  There's only one way to find out and it feels like such a gamble.   These are by no means the only reasons we're considering moving but they are factors.

Take No Prisons Week - Days 1 & 2

7 lbs you are in my crosshairs!  I am determined to shed at least 5 lbs this week.

Day 1 & 2 went great.  While I did track yesterday I haven't actually done the tally to see how many points I ate but I ate pretty much the same thing both days so I know I am in good shape.  Today I actually woke up hungry which is always a good sign.

Today we are skipping some of the kids activities because I desperately need to get this house in order.   I am going for the straightening up first (downstairs complete, moving to upstairs now).  Just reorganized my husbands' closet since his winter clothes bin has been sitting in our room with old packed luggage for several weeks already.  Cleaning people are coming later for dusting and all that sort of stuff.  I still have deal with the kids' toys, plus the junk spots like the computer cabinet and my dresser.  UGH!  Things are getting thrown out today.  I can't take it anymore!  Hopefully, none of the kids remembers that they are missing gymnastics today because we also have to get to the grocery store today.

Take No Prisoners

Headed to yesterday's WW meeting knowing I was probably up but in my worst case scenario it would be like 2.5 lbs.  I was up 5.2 lbs!!!  Devastated -- not really.  The meeting was motivating as always.  Spoke with some WW friends who are about to hit goal and I want to do it too!

This week's theme was "Success -- Knowing Yourself."  Something I clearly need to work on since gaining the 5 lbs was shocking to me.  This week's assignment is know myself beyond tracking, what are my triggers, etc.  Another meaningful to me comment in the meeting was, "We have to reach our weekly goals to reach success."  This is obvious but its easy to keep patting myself on the back for losing nearly 30  25 lbs.  I think I am going to just put a goal weight number on a piece of paper and tape it to my mirror as suggested in the meeting.  Another tip for this week was instead of sitting around in loose pants buy pants that are too tight and work yourself into them.  Its hard for me to get to the store and find pants so I modified this suggestion by getting underpants a size smaller.  We'll see if it works, I haven't put them on yet.  I also went grocery shopping immediately after the meeting.  Instead of picking up stuff that was on sale or I thought other's would like, I just got stuff that I thought I would really enjoy yet are on plan.  The kids are already eating more fruit and the bill wasn't any higher so this was a good lesson for me.  Goldfish crackers and Kashi bars, you will not beat me this week!!  Finally I tossed the remaining macaroni salad, a win in itself.  So no holds barred, I am tracking and I have the food to do it.  I will lose this week!  I am making it this week's goal to lose these un-welcomed 5 lbs.  Hello, 157 see you next Wednesday.

After the meeting I was talking to a couple of girls that have had tremendous success.  They are the ones that have lost a combined 150 lbs or something ridiculous like that.  They are so close to their goal that they are thinking next week will be their week.  I would love to hit it with them but I think losing more than 5 lbs in a week is too much of a reach.  In WW land you are supposed to pick a goal that is a healthy BMI number.  BMI is based on height.  I have always considered myself to be 5'6 but apparently I am 5'6 and 3/4in.  WW allows you to round up but I'm just not gonna do it, feels like cheating.  It would give me another 5lbs but its just not worth it to me.  I talked to the leader after the meeting to pick a goal.  We agreed on 155 and I could lower it to 150 which is my real goal.  The upside to picking a higher goal means you can go to the meetings for free instead of paying $40 a month.  I figure why not go with the higher number especially if I can lower it.  The leader was helpful in selecting this number b/c I do want to be in the 140s but I really have to pick something that I can maintain.  So I am on the countdown -- 7 lbs to goal, to my free blue chair (at WW meetings you sit in blue chairs).

Baby Step Cancelled

Had a great workout today.  Spent 40 minutes on the stair master followed by half the weight circuit.  I was sweating like crazy which I think is a good indication of actually burning fat although I know nothing about the science behind it.  Still feeling pain in my toe so I have not been running at all.  We'll see what the scale says tomorrow, I'm feeling like its going to be up.  Why?

I seem to be having these little battles with food lately.  I've been doing OK with the not grazing in the kitchen when I have nothing to do, except for the last two days, where it seems its hard for me to leave the kitchen and stay out longer than a few minutes at a time.  Just bought several items at the grocery store last week that I wouldn't normally get because I thought we were going to have a BBQ.  We ended up not having the BBQ so now I am at war with those certain items.  For example, the macaroni salad is in the fridge and I don't even really like it.  I should just throw it away but I can't seem to do it.  Its like the macaroni wins if it escapes this house uneaten and I must devour it.  Oh its taken me days and days but I will dutifully eat the whole thing.  Guacamole dip, although its actually called "guacamole style" dip I'm sure that means there's some calorie enhancing items mixed in it, was defeated today.  I practically finished it today, I got close enough to the bottom of the glass jar and in disgust with myself I tossed it.

My baby step one day workshop got cancelled.  I'm disappointed but we have about 10,000 other things happening that day including a run in my own town so I guess its just as well.  I met another mom at this weekend's birthday party who is interested in getting Montessori certified so we may go out to discuss, she also happen to be thinking of moving to Atlanta so we'll have plenty to talk about.

Spiritual Practices for Times of Crisis Link

Wow!  This article is so insightful and helpful to live in a mindful way.
Spiritual Practices for Times of Crisis

If you are too lazy to click the link here's the highlights:
(1) Breath to merge bogy and soul, inner and outer
(2) Come from a place of gratitude, galvanizes us to act and to protect
(3) Respect your pain for the world, these responses are natural and healthy
(4) Engage the Power of Benevolence, generates care and good will while dispelling fear and ill-will
(5) Inhabit larger fields of time, do not cut yourself off from nature's rhythms

I really like this.

YMCA Charaters

I do love the community feeling of the Y.  There's young and old, women and men.  People you'd never otherwise cross paths with.

Last week, the girl on the elliptical next me was a college student (I hope).  I only know this because her friend walked up to her and they had the most entertaining conversation.  Something like this...

"Oh my God, I can't believe you are here after last night!"
"Oh, I have to burn it off." (BTW, my internal thought was college students are so much healthier today.  It NEVER crossed my mind to go to the gym after or because of a night out.  I really mean NEVER.)
"Can you believe Susie didn't hook up with anybody?"

Oh, it went on and on.  I was so amused.  I have to admit that I am one of those annoying people that peeks at what the person next to me's machine is doing (oh, and don't do that to me because I hate nosey people like that, ha!).  She was definitely working hard to burn off the night before and consequently making me work harder since I am a little competitive and don't like to be next to someone killing it if I'm not.  Unfortunately, I was not out the night before, I just can't resist my children's goldfish crackers.  Oh, how lame I am!

Anyway, next up, is the bird guy.  Yesterday, I'm in the gym on the stair master when I hear a bird.  It was like a perfect chirp, like a bird makes that noise but rarely would you actually hear it so perfectly.  So I casually look around at the ceiling wondering how a bird got trapped in the gym or could there possibly be a person with some sort of bird whistle?  I had no idea and it only happened randomly so with no bird in sight I kind of just ignored it.  I move on to the weights circuit.  I had to skip around since others were taking forever.  I get to my second to last machine, the abdominals one where you face a different direction.  I was stalking my final machine since every time I was ready for it someone was on it.  Anyway, while I'm on the abs one what do I witness??  Some guy who makes bird noises as he exhales!!!  It was so strange, perfect chirping noises.  I did the entire circuit with the exception of the one the bird guy was nesting on.  Back extensions, I will see you next week.

Finally, I saw "naked old lady who's kitchen is on fire" again, working the reclining bike.  I noticed she does not appear to wear a moo-moo dress, just the house coat snapped shut.  I pray she wears underpants because that would just be so scandalous.  I mean really, who rides a bike, reclining no less,  in a dress?  

How many WW points in wine, again?

What a stressful day!  Bathroom renovation is FINALLY coming to a close.  Other than the obvious, taking showers elsewhere oh, and lest I forget late night trips escorting the kids to the creepy basement potty there were not too many bumps in the road until today.  Apparently the valve part that goes in the wall (behind the tile) did not fit the trim set we were completely in love with and had on hand ready to be installed.  So after a full day of shuttling the kids to school and both gymnastics classes, throw in a grocery store run for birthday cake supplies (my daughter insists we make her cake, UGH!), I came home to bad news from the plumber.

The plumber explained the problem OK, if a little condescending in my mind.  I mean if that were my job to install such equipment I would look at all the pieces from the start and make sure it was all compatible to avoid a situation like today, but I am not a plumber (although maybe I should be).  He of course explained to me that we don't normally check all the boxes (yeah, that would be 2) because of all the time it would take and the store normally sells the correct one together (damn you Amazon!).  Luckily, I was able to go to a plumbing supply store nearby and get trim I am happy with.  I use luck loosely, I told the kids that they had to "get ready on the double, get your water shoes (slide ons)."  No one even questioned what "on the double" means, I suppose my frantic face said it all.  I guess the luck part came with the baby not waking up from the transition from swing to car seat and upon arrival at the store there was a parking spot directly in front of the door (perhaps a self-made one) which was convenient since my other daughter fell asleep in the literally five minute car ride.  Yes, I was a total lunatic and left all three of the kids in the car with the A/C blasting while I ran in and paid for the trim which was waiting for me at the door.  I came home relieved with my resolution of not going with the cheapie set or using mix match (which did not really work but was the crazy plumber's suggestion to make our original set work).  Then the shower plate didn't work again.  Oh Moen, get it together already!  Finally, somehow, they made it work and I don't even care how.

While I should be baking birthday cupcakes I am instead going to set my alarm early and just enjoy the wine.

Channeling Maria

I have finally bit the bullet and committed to something.  I signed up for a one day workshop on Montessori education.  I know, one day is no big thing, baby steps for me.  I feel like I know more than the average person about Montessori philosophy (assuming the average person knows nearly nothing about it) since I did do some reading (not a lot) about it when we chose it for our children's preschool.  I always meant to read at least one of those Maria Montessori books and never got around to it or maybe I started it but didn't finish it.  Anyway while I read some about the philosophy, I still don't know much about the actual tools they use in the classroom.  I learn a lot when I'm invited to my son's classroom and he shows me what he's been working on.  I'm excited to learn about all of it from the teacher point of view and see if its something I want to put more energy towards.  It should be so interesting all around.  I'm hoping for nothing short of Maria Montessori speaking to me that this is the right thing for me.