Montessori & Me #6

"...Faults can be made to disappear... neither threats nor promises are needed, but conditions of life." --Maria Montessori in Education for a New World 

Montessori & Me #5

(1) Can you NOT learn if you are NOT developmentally ready?
(2) Can you learn too early?

I'm currently trying to figure this out.

Montessori & me #4

"He must increase, but I must decrease."  John the Baptist quote from "The Secret of Childhood" by Maria Montessori

Heading into my first staff meeting today.  Feel incredibly nervous!

Montessori & Me #3

"Manhood is born within him when his soul becomes aware of itself, when he sets himself a task, finds his way and chooses."

The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori p. 271

It never ceases to amaze me that she is talking about pre-schoolers.  We are imparting so much on our children so young.

Summer 2013

I can not believe that summer is coming to a close!

The big new house is wonderful.  It has been so fantastic to have family nearby.  Its not nearly as stressful to figure out when to go to the store or go for a run.  My husband started a new job and I think that has brought a lot of peace to our home as well since his hours are better.

Montessori courses are over for the summer but I don't feel all that free.  I have a lot of school work to be completed over the school year.  Definitely feeling overwhelmed when I think of it as a whole.  I am trying to think of small goals for myself and then hopefully it will feel a little less overwhelming.  I keep pecking away at things but nothing actually gets done.  The printer runs out of ink, I have to pick up the kids, get someone a glass of milk or I'm just too tired to stay awake, ALL ARE JUST EXCUSES.  Mostly I've been working on these albums.  Albums are a book of lessons with a description of the lesson along with pictures.  I've formatted the pictures for Practical Life and half of Language, Geography is done.  I have the pictures for the remaining albums, Math and Sensorial, but I have to format them.  Plus, write an introduction for all five.  Its really a lot of busy work though and I think I should take a break from that stuff which I can do late at night half awake during the school year.  I think I am going to change gears and apply myself to my philosophy papers.

On to philosophy....

Montessori & Me #2

The truly brightest children need a reason to learn something.

MIND: Identifying Weakness

This week in school we spent a little time with a personality test, Enneagram test.  I took the free online version of the test and I scored high (6 out of 8) in types called Peacemaker and Loyalist but most high (7 out of 8) as Achiever.  I can definitely see myself in some aspects of the descriptions of all three  personality types.  I hate reading the down side of each as I know they are true in regard to me (certainly for Peacemaker, not as much for Achiever).  The trait I am most concerned with is that of the Peacemaker who at their worst often denies problems and doesn't speak up until they are at their breaking point.  I really have to be vigilant of this.  I don't want to over look a problem a child might be having for the sake of keeping the peace.  I also don't want to interrupt or discourage a child's exploration process if they aren't disturbing anyone else.

An interesting situation arose today.  Our assignment was to role play teacher/student.  We were given scenarios with children having less than good behavior somehow misusing the materials.  We were supposed to talk to our partner about ways to handle the situation using positive statements.  My partner and I did not have much time to do so.  The conversation should include (1) an observational statement: "I see you have some cylinders knobs down," (2) a statement of choices: "You may make all the cylinders match by yourself or I can help you," (3) Positive Acknowledgement: "Thank you for putting your work away."  Well, that's at least how I thought it was going to go.  My partner had a different interpretation of the scenario as in she thought this was all taking place on the work rug (rather than at the shelf where the child would be returning the work for the next person).  This small detail made a big difference in how I would respond (or at least I thought so).  I was completely caught off guard in front of the whole class!  I am still learning and have NO experience in the classroom.  Its hard for me to redirect since I'm still learning about all the materials myself.  More importantly I'm still not clear on when to intervene which is a REALLY BIG one.  Montessori believes in this magical concentration time which allows the child to internalize the order of a task or skill.  I certainly don't want to interrupt that and a kid checking out the cylinders upside down is certainly OK.  But I have to remember I am the creator and protector of the environment - Be gentle with the knob cylinders we don't want the knobs to break.      

MIND: Second Pretend Lesson + First Exam

 This week the class moved on from the practical life area of the classroom to Sensorial.  I ended up volunteering myself to be the "teacher" for our presentation and once again it happened to be a particularly tough material.  Color Box #3.  This is a box with nine sections in it.  Within each of the nine sections are seven shades of a particular color.  The child is shown to lay out the color cards in order from darkest to lightest (primary colors first, then secondary).  Not as easy as it sounds, especially in front of all the adults in my class watching me!  In other news, I aced my practical life exam!  My very first exam!

 

Color Box #3 completed

MIND: First Solo Pretend Lesson

We have finally started on the Montessori materials this week in school.  Practical Life in particular is the section of the classroom we have begun.  Practical Life is an area that the younger children in a 3-6 year old room tend to gravitate towards the most but all the children can use the materials regardless of age if they choose it and have had a lesson on it.  The lessons are tasks like pouring, spooning, cutting, to name only a few works falling into the control of movement aspect.  This area also has lessons on removing a coat which would be considered care of self, or dusting - care of environment, apple cutting - food preparation or shaking hands - grace and courtesy.  

Montessorians believe in using very few words so as not to confuse the child while giving a lesson.  I have never been so mindful of my words or rather lack of!!!  And my hands!  Trying to keep my hand motions to a minimum is harder than I realized.   Yesterday we were broken into groups.  Every day we are given a few of the lessons which we are to practice following a very detailed lesson plan.  Within the group we decide who will present.  I did not present yesterday so today I was definitely presenting.  I ended up with one of the hardest works of the day -- the bow frame!!  Montessori developed these dressing frames which are essentially frames with two pieces of cloth that can be fastened with buttons, snaps, zipper and so on each frame has something different.  Today I presented tying a bow to my colleagues.  It wasn't terribly stressful and I made some mistakes most of which I was able to correct within the presentation (like nearly forgetting to push in my chair, HUGE NO-NO).  Initially I was not so happy about presenting a lesson with so many steps but in the end I was so glad I did.  The teacher said it will likely be on the exam next year.

Fun fact:  I learned when presenting we always move from left to right, up to down, in order to convey the way we read.  Circular motions are usually made in a counter clockwise motion because that is how we write!!

Montessori & Me #1

There are so many wonderful things I am learning about.  Sometimes things seem particularly insightful cause me to realize or process something.  I want to keep track of those nuggets.

The value is in the process of learning not speed.

How true this is and totally my whole marathon experience in a nutshell!

MIND: First Class Completed

For the next several weeks, I want to just write reflections on school NOT plans.

Yesterday was the last day of Philosophy class (I have heard that this is the most difficult).  It was a full day of group presentations.  Group presentations are so difficult.  Finding the time to work on any project can be hard but adding in other people's schedule and ideas usually makes it more arduous.   We were all so nervous and had a little bit of chaos just before when we realized we needed paper copies for handouts.  It all worked out and we we did well.  We had a large topic and we did not miss any of the main points and there were A LOT!

The topic that we chose was Freedom & Discipline.  Basically, freedom and discipline in a montessori classroom are complimentary.  Through free choice (within limits) the child chooses works based on his inner needs.  This provides valuable insight for the guide (teacher) as to the child's needs and capabilities so the guide (teacher) can ensure challenging lessons are given to the child.  The materials contain a control of error as in the child can self correct while working on it, this encourages the child's concentration.  In their efforts to perfect their work spontaneous discipline occurs.  As the child masters more and more skills they become more autonomous (free) which increases their self dignity.  I hope I got all those terms right and there is a lot more to it (responsibilty is a big part of it too) but I don't want to rewrite my whole project.

My second class is ending today!  

MIND: Insecurity Setting In

Tomorrow will be our first big assignment, the group project.

While I think I did facilitate conversation on the topic, I'm feeling like none of my comments are very insightful.  I feel like I am going to seem quite foolish in front of the class tomorrow.  We are going to be running around because we don't have our copies ready to be distributed!  Are we prepared enough?
This is really a challenge to me, staying calm.  Questioning my abilities is a waste of time.  Must let it go.

I know that I have really tried to be open to everyone's input.  I hope this all works out.  I hope we help each other in the Q&A portion!!

The Longest Week Ever

As my first week concludes I can't help but reflect on how jam packed every minute of this week has been.  I am simultaneously learning about the sensitive periods of learning and witnessing it in my own children.  Luckily, the kids have been very understanding of my absence during the day because I do miss being a witness to my own children's learning.  Thus far the guilt has been quite manageable because I find this all incredibly interesting.  

First Day of School

Today was my first day of class.  Never had such jitters the night before starting school.  I woke up every hour.  

The class was intense!!  There is so much to learn.   I'm still so completely in awe of the method and how it works that I really do enjoy learning about it.  Plus,  the people are all so nice.  There is this great sense of cooperation among everyone including the staff.

Now, how many chapters will I actually get to read tonight for homework??  Because I literally have eight chapters to read for homework.  

MIND: The Toil of Indecision Ends, Real Work Begins

I've been away from the blog for nearly two months and I have made much progress!!

In March, we met with a realtor and decided to put our house on the market.  The realtor has been amazing!  Every step of the way I felt so nervous and stressed, tons of stress eating going on.  First it was a lot of purging of the excess that seems to inevitably accumulate in my basement especially, a lot went to our storage unit for later evaluation.  Once the house was cleared, we moved on to phase 2 staging.  Our realtor hired a stager.  The stager came over and told me what else needed to be taken away from the space, as well as what repairs needed to be made.  Probably the best thing she did was suggest painting our kitchen and choosing the color.  The color she chose was perfect.  She also evaluated our style and went shopping for finishing touch pieces.  Next, I hired the handyman the stager and realtor recommended to paint the kitchen and do various small things around the house.  Once that was complete, the stager came back with her finishing touches.  In the midst of all this we had to decide on a price based on the realtor's range.  This whole process took about four weeks.

In early April, we actually put the house on the market.  I whisked the kids away to my mom's (luckily they were off that week from school).   I breathed a sigh of relief.  That feeling of relief lasted maybe 48 hours.  Then I started to hear from my realtor about all the "traffic" coming through the house.  It was great to hear there was so much interest!  Then on the third day all the anxiety creeped back into my mind.  Forty plus people going through my house several days in a row, even looking in our closets!!  Thankfully after the weekend we headed home and seemed to miss the worst of it all.  Disappearing during the week was not so bad for the random during the week appointments.  By Thursday, a mere one week on the market, we had two great offers!  I am so lucky and blessed that at least that part of the process was minimally stressful.

Once we accepted a bid, we moved on to looking for our next house.  A brand new house that we had seen months ago was still on the market and the price was coming down a little bit.  We put in a bid and after a second round of "best and final" we got the house!  Its lovely!  It has four bedrooms, a muck area, front porch, great walk-ability and is only 4 blocks from my mother's house!  So we DECIDED to stay in New Jersey, be close to family and visit warmer destinations for vacations with money we save (excited that our savings will not be going towards house stuff all the time).

This month, we've had two home inspections.  I'm in the thick of making arrangements for this one to be repaired and asking for things in the new one.  I am so busy with random appointments.  Yesterday, I picked out cabinet hardware for the new house and today I am getting exterminator estimates for this one.  It could get tedious if I wasn't so CRAZY excited about MY NEW JOB!!!

I GOT A JOB!!  I am so proud of myself.  I have to just say it!   I have not had a paid job in SIX years and I'm making a career change.  It would have been very easy to delay going back to school another year, especially with all this moving stuff going on.  Tempting as it was, I want to get going on becoming a teacher.  I managed to send my application in just before the deadline.  After my interview, I was accepted to the Montessori teaching program.  Next was finding an internship site.  Luckily I have a good relationship with my children's school and my kids' teachers.  My children's teachers were so encouraging of my becoming a teacher.  One teacher wrote me a letter of recommendation another helped me get my internship at the school!  It is a good reminder to me to be the best I can be every day because people notice.  Sometimes it helps me and other times it inspires others.  These women who work so well with my kids have inspired me to go down this path.  I'm thrilled that they see the teacher potential in me too!

I'm feeling very Montessori.  Work and learning are supposed to be your joy.  I have never been so excited to go to school and to get a job.

MIND: Art Class

Remember those bird place mat paintings?  Remember how disappointed I was in my lack of creativity?    Well, I surprised myself in my first art class EVER.

Another mom invited me to a lovely night out of wine and art.  An art teacher and mother in town was offering a one night class.  There was an artist that inspired the mixed media project but of course I can't remember her name.  The project started with each of us coping our hands in a copy machine.  Most did exactly what we were shown  - flat hand with fingers spread (not too creative looking to me).  I decided to copy my hand as if I were holding something.  With the picture of our hand with a black background we were then supposed to use all different clippings from magazines, scrap book paper, twine, ribbons, all kinds of stuff to create our masterpiece.  It was suggested that we make a border as well.

It was really interesting how people approached the project and the finished products were all so different.  Some people worked harder on the border than on the actual picture.  My border was an after thought.  The teacher made two comments about how quiet I was.  I was completely engrossed in my project.  It was so fun and relaxing but I still felt like my brain was working.

Are my themes obvious?  If anyone is actually reading this blog it should be obvious: Love of life (in the palm of my hand), Balancing everything, my kids are the three stars, my green thumb, body image/aging.  Apparently I just need a little prompting to get my creative juices flowing.  I was really happy with how this came out.  

Body, Mind & Soul - All Running

The old body is on the move... I started running again!!  Feels good in a muscle aching sort of way.  Last week, I ran 2-3 miles three times.  Thinking about training for a half marathon relay in May.  I suppose some would call it a quarter marathon. ha!

My mind has been spinning thinking about my school for the upcoming school year.  I so desperately want to do something career related.  I checked out the Princeton school and LOVED it.  The facility and staff are so top notch.  Been working on answering my essay questions which are practically finished.  My biggest hurdle is figuring out my child care for during the school year.  I'm supposed to do the practicum which is essentially working full time but I have a three year old who is not in school full time.  Plus, I don't know where I can even do the practicum.  Do I wait another year for this?  Do I seek out one of these alternate route programs instead?

Sunday school class has been such a GREAT experience.  I absolutely love teaching the class.  Its been so helpful to me spiritually as well.  Everything you need to know about being catholic you definitely learn in kindergarten.  The cup of seeds is flourishing (I meant that literally but I suppose its also figurative as well).  The kids made another beautiful project.  I'm just so thrilled that they have all learned something and enjoy coming to our class.

SOUL: Ash Wednesday

BODY & MIND: Ablation, Recovery & Sunday School

Surgery went well.  I am pretty much completely recovered, although I still feel a little tired.  I taught Sunday School this morning a mere two days after the ablation!

Thursday went very much according to plan.  I dropped off all the kids as usual at school.  I came home packed my bag for the hospital.  My husband drove me over to the hospital.  Check in and registration went quickly.  Totally grossed out when the male nurse mentioned shaving me for the procedure!!  Thankfully, I told him I wax and it would not be necessary.  I vaguely remember another nurse saying, "You are getting the medicine now" and lights out for me.  Unfortunately, my arrhythmia needed a little help getting triggered.  In addition to them putting adrenalin in my IV they had to wake me up from the anesthesia twice!  That was definitely weird.  I remember feeling very hot and asking for my socks to be taken off and asking how could I help.  Then before I knew it I was back in recovery with my husband at my side, meanwhile 5 hours had passed.  The ablation procedure consisted of a wire going through a vein (not artery) with a deflated "balloon" at the end.  The "balloon" had sensors on the outside so with one beat of my hear they got to see the inside of my right chamber from all angles.  Sure enough, they zapped three separate spots in the right chamber with "rogue cells."  I wore the heart monitor over night and had just 3 PVCs the entire night, whereas before I was having them 7% of the time with beta blockers.  Hooray!!

I have been so excited to teach my Sunday School Lent class because I put a lot of thought into the lesson.  The kids planted wheat grass seeds in a clear plastic cup and made crosses out of popsicle sticks.  The finished product should occur around Easter with really tall green grass coming out of the cup with the crosses, should look really attractive.  Emphasized Lent as a time when we really try hard to hear God by praying more, helping others and living simply.  A time of transformation, the seed into grass and the caterpillar into a butterfly (I read a story).  Hopefully they understood some of it, its hard concepts.

BODY & MIND: Ablation Anxiety & New Car Excitement

Weekend was very low key.  My mind keeps floating around different ideas about the spring and summer.  Starting the garden again, new pots from IKEA for the back yard, vacation, activities, the list goes on.  I keep hearing or reading various things (conversations, links on Facebook to Huffington Post articles) about feminism or motherhood or how ever you want to classify everything in those veins.  Its really making me want to research many different political topics and get some train of thought or action in place but alas I haven't been able to focus on that sort of thing while actually being a mother at this moment.

I kept getting teary eyed in church this Sunday.  I am nervous about my heart procedure.  I am confident I will be fine BUT you can't help but worry sometimes.  I'm glad its only a day away since I just want to put all this behind me.  I remember having all this anxiety and worry with my thyroid surgery.  Upon release from the hospital for that surgery, I remember sitting in my mom's car while she drove me home and a rush of tears came out of my eyes.  Pure happiness that the ordeal was over.  I can't wait to feel like that tomorrow or Friday when ever it hits me that this is all over.  No more breathlessness, no more anxiety, no more beta blockers.

Things (my lucks, perhaps) got kicked in the right direction this morning.  The lease inspector came to town to inspect the Odyssey.  There's a ding in the hood from a minor fender bender but we didn't know how closely they would look at everything else since its our first lease.  Things went well.  The hood dent was noted as were other things but it came up at or under our expectations of cost.  YIPPEE!!  I'm so excited to get rid of this car.  It was too big for my taste.  It served it purpose while we needed all the car seats and through our rear facing car seat years.  Everyone is facing forward and some in booster seats now.  We are ready to move on.  I'm liking the Mazda 5 as our next car, its a mini- minivan.   So one HUGE load off with the van inspection done.

So let the good times roll right into tomorrow, my "days off" as the children have taken to calling it.  Somehow I must include that idea of mom's"days off" are my going into surgery and staying over night in a hospital into my feminism/motherhood commentary if I ever get around to it. 

SOUL: Ski Karma

I believe in Karma.  I made the mistake of putting out some negative energy in my last post regarding our ski trip.  It totally came back to haunt me.  Have to admit I was nervous that the kids were going to be fighting me and my husband the whole weekend about wearing the necessary clothing and gear for the skiing adventure.  When ever we talked about the trip there was a lot of complaining...

"Why can't we learn to snowboard instead of ski?" (they can barely sled alone)
"Why can't we come home and sleep in our own beds?" (they are constantly begging to go places)
"I don't want to break my arm."  (They both have kids in their class that have broken arms while skiing!)

Then as luck would have it, the afternoon we were set to leave the tide turned.  The kids were excited to go.  They finally got it!!  Mommy and Daddy only plan fun things for them on the weekend!  We were all happily excited for our new experience.  I was looking forward to spending time with my family since we were staying with my cousin and his family.  Then the karma came.

SNOW.  At my house not up where the ski slopes are!  We looked online at weather reports which appeared to be unreliable since we were looking at snow and according to the weather report we weren't supposed to get any.  It finally let up and we headed out.  We were on the road for 15 minutes when our headlights were filled with snow again!  We turned around and went home.  Boo!

Ski Adventure weekend turned into IKEA furniture assembly weekend.

SOUL: Rock Star Week Abruptly Ends

How ironic that I claimed to be having a "rock star week" and my six year old son tells me I look like a rock star all in the same day.  Let the list of hair cut comments/reactions begin.  My own children are having the strangest reactions to my new REALLY blond highlights (that are actually quite shocking to me as well).

My six year old son "Wow!  You look like a rock star, mom!" That made me smile until he asked, "Are you wearing a wig?" I give him a chagrin and he tries to fix it by saying, "It just kind of looks like you are wearing a wig is all."  me --NOOOOOOOOOO!!

My four year old daughter at first said nothing and gave me a mad face.  I said, "What's the matter you don't like my hair?"  She said, "Why did you change it?  I liked the old way."  Me too, more and more.

My two year old, didn't even seem to notice.

My husband had an initial "Wow!" followed by the obligatory, "It looks nice."  BORING!  As usual can't read anything into this (really like it or completely hate it?  I think he'd tell me if he hated it).

This is definitely an adjustment time for me, I thought they were going to be subtle.  Are they super cool or super lame?  Not sure yet but its definitely in the extremes!

Attempting a first this weekend...  our first family ski trip!  This should be disastrous but I'm hoping for a surprise.  My kids hate wearing all the necessary ski/cold weather clothing like, gloves/mittens, snow pants.  I have only skied three times in my life.  I think that about sums it all up.

MIND: Rock Star Week

I have to admit I've been feeling good.  On the down side, my swim class was cancelled and I have not been going to the gym this week BUT I've been busy with other things.  Sunday, I planned and taught a wonderful Sunday School class.  Then I went to Princeton Montessori to hear about their teacher education program which sounds great.  Monday, my girls had their first swimming lessons of the season for one and the first ever for the other.  They both did great.   Tuesday and Wednesday were just a blur of running around getting errands done.  Its annoying to have days like that but sometimes you just gotta get that to do list cleared.  I got another Groupon and I'm trying out a new hair salon today.  Just lots of little things are getting accomplished and its making me feel good.  I've been rereading my side bar goals and decided I should update my profile picture since I've gained back about 15lbs from my 30 lbs weight loss.  I'm hopeful after my surgery the weight will be easier to get off when I'm not on the beta blockers anymore.  A girl can hope, right?

BODY: Ablation

Last week I saw my EP cardiologist.  I'm really not sure what I was expecting to come out of the appointment.  He left me with the same conundrum:  Stay on the beta blockers to keep my arrhythmia within the normal range OR have this ablation procedure where he would zap these rogue heart cells that are causing my PVCs.  I do not take any of this lightly.

The issue with the beta blockers (BB) is that they do not cure me.  The BB slow everything down including my adrenaline receptors which keeps things at bay but I still have PVCs just less of them.  I could increase my dosage of BB, the PVCs would likely be fewer.  Unfortunately, the BB make me dizzy on occasion.  Say I bend over to load the dishwasher or tie a shoe if I stand up too fast I get dizzy.  I suspect the BB are also making me tired.  Its hard to gauge tired.  Whether its truly from the BB or I'm just having a busy day or too much interrupted sleep, its so hard to figure out.  I do regularly (once a week) forget to take the medication which results in the PVCs coming in a little stronger.  The flutter in my chest is a quick but uncomfortable feeling that gives me anxiety.  I truly worry that something is majorly wrong with my heart even though I have been told everything is fine.  Supposedly there is nothing wrong with staying on BB long term BUT to take them for the rest of my life when it effects my whole body just doesn't seem right.  Plus, I worry that long term PVCs could effect my heart for the worse as well but I'm told they are harmless. 

Ablation means anesthesia, staying over night at the hospital, just all the worries that come with any kind of heart surgery, correction my cardiologist says its so minor its really just a procedure.  There's a great success rate though, like 95% effective and I'm told nearly all the complications are from the small incision made in my groin area not anything with the heart.  For the last several months I've wondered whether its worth it to go for the procedure.  I don't want to be one of these people that die on the operating table getting plastic surgery.   While this is elective surgery, my decision does not come from a place of vanity.  My doctor has been very reassuring that its a very safe and effective procedure so I've finally decided that I should have the procedure.  I'm booked for it in two weeks.

   

Welcome 2013!

In 2013, I would like to continue to simplify my life and do interesting things.  I am planning on training for and completing a triathlon, starting school for Montessori certification and making some sort of final decision on moving.  Thus far in 2013 I've been feeling a little sluggish but I am setting myself up for success!

I just read an article that insists on 15 minutes a day for organizing yourself and I'm going to do it 11:45am - noon -- T.O. time aka Total Organization.

BODY - I always feel better when I am regularly exercising.  I took a few days off during the holidays and now its turned into 3 weeks so I'm due to get back in the gym.  Staying on course is easier for me with an actual deadline so I am going to aim for a triathlon in June.  I signed up for a triathlon swim class at the YMCA beginning next week!

MIND - I signed up for the open house at the Princeton Montessori School.  I am hoping that the program is the right one for me.  It means I would start school in June!  If I apply and am accepted, of course.

SOUL -  Already finished my first book of 2013 "Pillars of the Earth."  I watched the Golden Globes and want to go to the movies so bad.  Alas other things get in the way when I have free time, like looking for another house.  We have not made a final decision (as usual).

We are aggressively de-cluttering the house.  Its hard to get rid of stuff that is brand new or you might use in the future.  Our policy has been if we are not going to use it for the next 6 months, it goes in a box.  We rented a storage space and are putting the boxes in it.  The house feels so much better without the excess in it.  I have put the kids' school on notice so we won't have to pay tuition until the last minute before their spot is taken.  In theory, we could put the house on quickly should a house worth moving for become available.  But really we just need to decide what the heck we're doing in the next few weeks or we are here for at least another school year and the window for moving without it affecting the kids too much gets even smaller.

I'm excited for 2013.  I want to get some stuff done.